Writing me Down

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Thirsty Sparrow

Sparrow, pecking at the disc of ice in the bird bath. Flys away, thirsty. Guilt tugs at me. I take the kettle outside and pour water on the ice. It makes a hole in the middle that I can slip my fingers underneath, and pull the disc of ice out. I drop it onto the paving stones.

frozen mist drifts
white specks resting on the ice
of barren birdbath

small brown bird, hopeful
dips to drink from disc of ice
flys away thirsty


At 10:12 pm, Blogger Liz said...


I think your Haikus and descriptions are very powerful, in particular your description of lifting out the disc of ice, and the Haiku about whirling combat over sunflower seeds. It's such a striking image. Creating that feeling of motion and an instant caught in a few simple words is great.

I'm not sure if you wanted feedback but I really wanted to say how much I liked them!


At 9:23 pm, Blogger Carole said...

Hi Liz,
Thank you so much for commenting! I'm sorry it's taken me ages to read this. I accidentally enabled comment moderation without realising what I'd done, and I've just found your comment. Sorry. Welcome, and thanks for the feedback. I'm glad you like them.


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